Excercise # Two

The reason that this is an above 18 blog is because I want to write romance, which means I have to practice writing sex without being embarrassed about it, one of my favorite books Welcome to Temptation by Jennifer Cruise, talks about how you can't write sex while being a lady, the same way you can't have sex and try to be a lady...and trying to do so just leaves everyone unsatisfied, because all the best sec is more then a little dirty, but I digress...Today's exercise is going to focus on something I did a little while. Here we go!!

Okay so this one comes from the writing class that I took last month...The assignment:Pick three words you use all the time in a sex scene. If you've never written a sex scene, then three words you see used all the time.Now write a sex scene (or part, I know some scenes can be pages!) WITHOUT using those three words.

Here is my original scene:

He looked up at Cassie, beginning to regret giving her free reign over his body. She had stepped into the bedroom wearing an almost see through white chemise. Her every move had been so slow and deliberate, he was forced to fight the urge to beg. She had then approached his naked body, touching his chest just enough to send arcs of lighting through his body. Now she was rubbing him with fragrant oils, skimming close to but never touching his cock. The smell of cinnamon combined with her natural fragrance of vanilla, making his head rush as his body begged.
“Cassie, please,” he began, only to be cut off sharply.
“My way Phoenix, you always take me to fast. This time we go slow until I get my fill of your muscles, your skin, every part of you that I have never had time to explore.”

okay, there is a lot wrong with that scene...first it is all passive and that is a no no, second my POV isn't fabulous so I need to tighten that up and well the whole thing was written in about 5 minutes, so it just needs to be looked over, okay here are the revisions...hopefully better but I will have to look at it tomorrow to be sure :D enjoy!

Phoenix pulled at the restraints biting into his wrists, doubting his sanity as he lay naked on his queen size bed. He must have been crazy to promise Cassie complete control over his body, fulfilling his promise was surely going to kill him. He shook as her hands smoothed slick oil down his chest, leaving behind a strange tingling sensation.

“What is in that oil? It feels strange. Are you sure it’s safe?” his trepidation seeped into his voice. Giving up control was much harder to do then he had ever anticipated. Not being able to touch was driving him insane, skyrocketing his other senses and making him more aware of his surroundings. He could smell the candles she had lit, cinnamon and vanilla, mixing with the natural scent of woman that wafted from her skin. He could feel the silk of her negligee brushing the insides of his thighs making his cock jerk. His head rushed, as he saw her lips bend closer to that thick ridge, only to turn at the last second and kiss his hipbone instead.

“Cassie, please,” he began, only to be cut off sharply.

“My way Phoenix, you always take me to fast. This time we go slowly until I get my fill of your muscles, your skin, every part of you that I have never had time to explore.”

His vision swam at her words, and he struggled to keep control over his body. There was no way he was going to come early and ruin her play, even if it did kill him in the process.